Avril fake biography, written by tony... very funny.

Anything but ordinary. That's something that you shouldn't call Avril Lavigne, a trendy wanna be punk rocker who has used her music videos and songs to sell merch and show you that she's a in your face "to-cool-for-school" bitch. In reality, her record label and manager try to market her as this new age teenage girl with something on her mind, and that she's not afraid to tell it to your face. But also, as it would seem, in reality Avril is nothing more than a self centered whore that has slept her way to the top.

Avril Lavigne was born in Nappanee, Canada; which she likes to call the "mean streets". There she was pampered and spoiled as a child. One day she found herself singing to a Milli Vanilli song when it hit her..."I can be famous too!" It was then that she started to sing whenever she could, whatever she could. Once she went into a local McDonalds and jumped on one of the booths singing "Old McDonald". This of course upset everyone and the police were called. That was the first of many offenses that would be put on Avril's record.

"She was such a good girl..." One of her childhood friends says. "It was just that damn Milli Vanilli. I mean, if it weren't for them she would have never done the things she did to try to get in the spotlight."

After that failed attempt at making it big, Avril entered herself into a load of country talent shows, including the "Little Miss Cowgirl Whore" pageant, which she finished first place. She sang her heart out, but that's not what won her that special award.

"She gave the best [deleted for content]. I mean she was just a little girl. Maybe 11, 12." Says a judge that was at the pageant.

Later on Avril found herself getting caught up in the underground world of Canadian country music, filled with sex and drugs. By 14, she had been taken to the hospital for a bad overdose of vodka and Twix bars. Waking up was the worst time.

"I remember seeing her in the hospital bed. She was just lying there...[unnecessary sobbing moment]." Says another close friend of Lavigne's.

Soon after her brush with death, Avril decided to take a break from the deadly world of Canadian country music. There she tried to get more focused on her schoolwork. But that didn't happen. In her 7th grade year Avril was beating up girls in the class and had already been diagnosed with 3 STD's. She didn't want to be labeled, but it had already happened. But it was one day, walking home from school that she found the "coupon".

Upon arriving at a local Dairy Queen, Avril found a $10 off coupon for Hot Topic, if you buy $150 worth of clothes (that's about two t-shirts). Avril headed over there and what she found shocked her. Ties. Plaid skirts with abnormal amounts of zippers on them. Parachute pants. Everything that was different and wasn't "in". She hated it and walked out, keeping the coupon in her pocket.

A year later Avril was inspired to sing again, and jumped right into the underground sub-culture of Canadian Country music. There she met a man who said that he could help her become a star. Lavigne was at first skeptical, but knew she had nothing to loose. They discussed how they could make her famous while they had a quickie in the restroom. The man needed a fresh idea. Suddenly it hit Avril. What if she could be suddenly "punk"? Punk would sell, it did for Blink 182.

Avril and the manager went back to Hot Topic and bought tons of clothes. This gave them an idea of their music. With the idea, the manager headed straight to Arista Records. Convincing them was a hard time.

"It was a lot of ideas going back and forth." Says the manager, who asked us to keep his name secret for the time being. "I mean, they have R&B. And Avril was gonna be straight out punk. We needed to make it happen."

Avril dropped out of school in the 11th grade and joined her manager to go to USA, where she could become the next big star. Recording though, was harder than anyone had expected.

"There were times," Says a recording RA, "Where Avril would just stop singing the song and start having an orgasm. I didn't mind it, but it got the record executives wield up. And they had to totally re-write her lyrics, because she isn't good at writing songs. And she can't play the guitar, so they got someone to do that. And there was that whole thing where the album couldn't be too 'punk'."

That "too punk" resulted in Avril's first album, "Let Go". The album, which is now a hit, consists of mellow pop songs that are marketed as "punk rock". What does Avril say about that?

"I don't wanna be some fake pop sh*t."